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Hair do
I've had the same barber for 10 years; mainly because I'm a little vain - for no discernible reason; and because I frankly can't be bothered with the rigmarole of finding a new one. You know the sort of thing; going through the initial awkward stages of negotiation - "no thanks, Emo's not for me, could you just tidy it up a little?". "Ooh a perm, hmm".
Andreas, you will do just fine, thank you. You know my exact tonsorial requirements; you make me coffee; and you finish the job in twenty minutes flat.
Never mind your inability to remember that:
1. I am NOT a fan of the popular game known as "football".
2. I haven't the foggiest idea what "odds" "evens" and "accumulators" are.
3. Your wife is a very nice and attractive woman. But no; I will not rate her "out of 10" even if she has washed my hair and made me a lovely hot beverage.
4. The reading material that you provide makes a grown man blush.
5. Norman Tebbit IS a heinous skull-felching fascist. Still.
6. Conversations regarding my sex life, financial status, and current emotional condition are off limits.
7. I would much rather discuss the The Demise Of The English Hedge Row than enter any form of conversation regarding Those Bloody Polish Buggers Nicking Our Jobs, thank you very much.
8. Sea-angling for a weekend off Skegness in October does not appeal to me in the slightest.
9. I do not want to be hypnotised by you, or indeed your brother-in-law.
10. Its two sugars.
Comments (5)
Okay, hang on sec. Have you found a hairdresser that DOES NOT ASK WHERE YOU ARE GOING ON HOLIDAY, even if it's November?
Your list made me larf, not too disimilar to a ladies hairdressers in deepest darkest sarf london I frequented a few times, nothing too challenging was created, I had a bob then!!!! The conversation was soooooo rehearsed, I used to die of embarrassment.
Maybe a change of scenery aint a bad fing guvnor!!!!!!!!!He's a card, he really is.
Sigh. I know what you mean. I bloody *hate* getting my hair cut. I tried countering the "Polish buggers nicking our jobs" argument last time with a perfectly reasonable "nobody wants to drive buses for a fiver an hour anyhow, so nobody's nicking anything", only to be rewarded by unwanted tramlines and a nick in my neck. I'll keep my mouth shut next time. Grrr.
Wendy
The last time he mentioned holidays it was all I could do to resist jumping up and leaving the shop still half-clippered. I think he sensed my tension as he quickly moved on to "The Trouble With These Nigerian Traffic Wardens" and "That Amy Winehouse, She Wants To Sort Herself Out, She Does". Of course by that time I had no desire to conclude my session looking like a member of the popular 80's beat-combo, King Kurt.